“Get Hard” Is One Of The Year’s Worst

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LOGOThe filmmakers hit rock bottom when they churned out “Get Hard,” a completely revolting and totally tasteless piece of garbage starring Will “I’m-Always-Yelling” Ferrell and Kevin Hart. But at least one word in the title fits the film.

It’s hard to watch.

It’s hard to sit through.

It’s hard to bear.

It’s hard to endure.

It’s hard to stomach.

It’s hard to enjoy.

It’s hard to believe people will actually pay to see it.

Finally, it’s hard to write about a film like this because it’s not worth wasting the time to do it. Thus, you will find this review uncharacteristically short. Also, it is a bit graphic, so try not to vomit.

1

Ferrell plays James King, who is the manager of a hedge fund and incredibly rich. He’s also engaged to a woman named Alissa (Alison Brie), who throws an engagement party for the two of them. Unfortunately the police crash the festivities to arrest James on charges of embezzlement. He ultimately ends up in front of a judge who sentences him to 10 years in San Quentin and gives him 30 days to take care of any personal matters before he is incarcerated.

2

James decides the best way he can use his 30 days is to prepare himself for life in prison, and to this end he hires Darnell Lewis (Hart), his African-American car washer to “harden” him for his stay in the big house. Warning! Sickening stuff lies ahead. Among the things James must endure are being pepper-sprayed, learning how to perform oral sex on another male, making shivs, and the art of “keistering” or storing foreign objects in his anus. Have you had enough? I have!

5

“Get Hard” is a film with absolutely no redeeming value. It contains countless examples of rude, crude, tasteless, disgusting, and repulsive “humor” aimed at homosexuals and African Americans, and it’s a complete insult to anyone with an IQ above that of a rock. Watching movies like this one is tantamount to enduring multiple tooth extractions sans Novocain, and therefore it should come as no surprise that “Get Hard” earns the final score of a colossally mammoth zero. And giving it that score wasn’t the least bit hard!

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